What's happening?

It has been quite some time since I wrote a long post. Or talked to someone. Or did some significant work at office. Or read a long book. Or took myself seriously. I wonder why.

On my best friend's birthday I could hardly speak anything after the customary happy birthday. As I stood in the corridor outside my lab trying hard to make a non-mundane conversation happen, I realized I had succeeded in becoming truly alone.

I have disconnected myself from all semblances of relationships. Until this phase in life, there were always a few people to whom I could pick up the phone and talk as if just a day, not months, passed from when we previously spoke. But at some point of time in the recent past, I seem to have drifted farther and farther. The elastic band which always brought me back to the center by its recoil seems to have broken finally.

I do not have too many thoughts in my head these days. From being a person with multiple layers of intertwined thoughts that served as my bane on a daily basis, I am now moving on to 'not having too many thoughts'. I suppose this is a significant achievement, though I am clueless about its origins. If I had something to focus on, like a final exam or a class project due in a week, I would probably do it good justice without any distraction. But now that I don't have any pressing concern (refer the part where I say I haven't done significant work at office in a long time), I am a little lost.

Earlier, I used to have a variety of emotions close to the surface. There was a band/book/TV show that I absolutely loved to the very core (EddieVedder/LoTR/House was the fucking best thing that ever happened on the planet, EVER). I constantly held a grudge or two (but she promised she would call back 2 years, 6 months and 11 days ago, and that was only the 6th time she forgot). I vehemently hated a few wrong things that some stupid people do (there is no sane reason that a hostel can dare impose a different set of rules on men and women, and the worst part of it all was the girls and their parents who aided these decisions by abiding them. and this was the REASON the college sucked, the country remained backward). I could go on, but I think you get the point.

But now I don't have too much feelings. I am more at peace with myself and the world. Maybe I am just happy, instead of the usual binary euphoric or depressed? This is new.

Well, things are rolling. Let's see where this wave takes me.

Wait a minute! Strike out the part when I talked about Eddie in the past tense. Because, Ed IS the fucking best thing that ever happened on earth! I saw him twice, in a month. Me and a friend, glazed eyes, hoarse throats, all reason lost as he started with Pendulum. I heard him sing black. I was a part of the crowd that sang betterman as he watched along. Love you, Ed!

Now playing: Nothing is playing, didn't you read the post? (rolling eyes) I am in a state of temporary inaction!