I should have known!

We once strolled along the same trail
one we didn't share, one for which we didn't quite care
to walk away from the path, never did we ponder
deliberately unaware, of the treasure that lay yonder.

When we reached the inevitable fork our paths drifted

I tried to scale new heights, sliding down many slopes
you were always there to silently support
picking myself up, I knew we had grown better rapport

Our roads are now a long way apart
I peer backwards, trying to look through the past
the search for old records ends in a prized find
as the memory of a cheerful voice fills my mind

So high in drama, surely I should have known
that we had no choice but to end up good friends.
"The word starts with G and ends with L
such obscenities you'll never hear me spell"

Song in my head: For absent friends by Opeth

One more time

The days I've known you are short
an open book, my mind to you from the start
a face or two, I have seen of your gales
Ah! The few glimpses proclaim many tales

You crossed paths with a few strange men
the stories would fill many pages when you decide to pen
your affection once touched a nerve
Ever so profuse and infectious, is your verve

Akin to me in quite some ways
full of life, charming on most days
beloved friend, so willfully stronger
you inspire me like no other

Yet a million memories threaten havoc
as a pang of warning creeps down the pit of my stomach
wishing for more than stark rhyme
I go through the motions one more time.

Song in my head: Infallible by Pearl Jam

Antagonizing the world

Too many people have told me that this one needs some context :)
This is about how people move on, change their priorities and forget promises. As you life goes on you begin to wonder if it was you who read things wrong and begin to the doubt what you perceive to be real in the present. You overcome all petty concerns and move on too. You choose to be indifferent to everything, but what do you achieve?


Promises to meet this time for sure
Waned like Hermione banished them
Oh what did that leave you with
If not regret and self-reproach

The hand you held strong
As you conquered the mountain of fear
The kiss of hope and love
Did you lure yourself to think it was real?

The one shoulder you lean on tonight
The very picture of the top layer of melting ice
You will find the cracks early in the dawn
Firm ground you can trust, they said

You walked alone the long winding path
Through the land of mist and daze
Trod loose stones with care
Left the last hurdle behind and walked far

You flirted with that sheer veil
The veil that harbored you in reality
Crossed the lines you drew long ago
Met your doom in your unbridled dreams

Indifference you befriended as you lined the wall with lead
Not the iron fist nor the sugar coated knife
Could make you soar into the stars or silently wail
You antagonized all the world, but to what end?

Echoes fade and memories die

I caught up with a good friend of mine after a long time today. Recounting all stories from the past two months in a very typical fashion of mine that includes all gory details and digresses in all possible angles, made me suddenly nostalgic. 

Life fucking moves on. Small things that gave me great pleasure are now distant memories. Roaming around SF in the middle of the night, swearing at meteors, getting lost in philosophical thoughts and (comically) falling in pits on beaches, professing love for a Shakespearean actor(and oh, every guitarist we see), driving back from Berkeley have all become things of the past. Just like discovering the Steeping Room, walking to Amy's ice cream in the middle of the night, driving on MoPac for the first time, celebrating with wine and cake and LoTR, Dunkin donuts on a rainy Atlanta morning and making Rava pakoda on another rainy evening had all long become things of the past.

Being around new people bring out different parts of me, parts that I didn't know existed before. I am as glad to have discovered the adventurous me as I was when I first encountered the geek in me. The adventurous me dodges wild thorns crossing the final frontier in the shape of a wooden fence to the edge of a cliff(drama is my middle name). The stupid girl also drives to mountain tops and finds the gas tank empty, breaks her abstinence with one whiff of a spirit called Bombay.   

The geeky me ambitiously planned to learn the basics of CUDA in a weekend, read Lord of the Rings twice in 3 weeks, fell in love with the Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy, fervently debated abortion and evolution(was shocked to find that a topic of debate in the first place), did a batman marathon and claimed November Rain was the best song ever and in the process found a beautiful friend who made great tea, became a part Longhorn and bought her apple pie when she was in the worst low. 

As all these images go through my mind I sigh. I am reminded of Lewis Carroll. 'Echoes fade and memories die'. I desperately hope that not all of them die. I wish I could take with me what is elemental in all these memories. To enjoy small things in life and keep pushing myself to my limits. 

Because happiness is not good enough for me. I demand euphoria. No, I am not going to the Shoreline Lake. I need to drive on the Bay Bridge. 

Now Playing: Wish you were here When in doubt, seek Floyd.

To my best friend Oviya

Sometimes in life, a certain incident occurs

Something that is set to change its entire course

At times, the outcome of best laid plans

But once in a while, just whimsical

Impulsive apparently or perhaps God drives the wheels from behind.

Summer of '12

I'm sitting here in the boring room

It's just another rainy Sunday afternoon

I'm wasting my time

I got nothing to do

  Well it is not really a Sunday. Nor an afternoon. Not rainy either. It is actually a Tuesday. But the room is indeed boring. I'm in my office, sitting in this fancy-named-cost-cutting-solution mobile workstation. The wasting my time part is also true. It is one of those days when my playlist is drearily boring and I realize that the Lemon Tree has long since stopped playing and I haven't even clicked on another song. Boredom brings with it its evil twin, thoughts.