The Wait

One little token of acknowledgment
was all that she longed for
she had thrown all caution into the winds
sold herself out to those few words

With bated breath she waited
she could neither drink nor eat
joy and sorrow blended into unfamiliar numbness
the moment she surrendered the last ounce of her self

A slight prod was immensely alluring
just a stretch of a hand away
prevailed an ephemeral respite
With a bitter fight she held the resolve of silence

Laid her soul naked in vulnerability
days and nights she waited in vain
a teeny nod in her direction
how was it too much to ask!?


Now playing: Time

Here is a wistful response.

Alas, I don't have with me that which your heart seeks
the perfect future is naught but a happy dream
so dear to me I hold you still
I flinch in dismay at your lost hope

Caught warily in this spectacle
I know not how to soothe you
when every look could lead you to misfortune
when a single act could drown you in spurious hope

Oh! if words are all you want
a thousand poems I'd adorn you with
if a touch of your arm would go a long way in relief 
I'd hug you close and hold you for a while

The story of the end

Ok, this is so cheesy that I want to punch myself in the face. Nowhere close to the previous post, neither in beauty nor in honesty. But the last one left me yearning to complete, I couldn't just leave it hanging like that. 

She is sitting in her desk poring over the yellow pages of the old book that she had re-read a hundred times. Looking up through the window she feels she ought to be outdoors on a beautiful summer day like this. The sky is a bright blue today; blue with huge puffs of clear white clouds. Lifting the blinds up she feels a cool breeze livening up her study. The breeze is a thoroughly welcome affair this hot dry summer. She breathes aloud hoping that autumn is finally beginning when a gutsy wind throws twigs and dirt into her little room. 

Like the dirt on her book, she tries to dust away all misgivings. She tries hard to ignore them. The naive girl thinks they will leave her alone if she pretends long enough that they are figments of her imagination. When this approach fails she tries to fight them. Oh, how foolish she was in thinking she can subdue them with her anger! The final straw came when she tried to rationalize them and take them head on. This aggravated them more and soon they were dancing in flames before her closed eyes.

Forced to join the dance she is gracelessly shunted from one flame to another. With eyes wide open she takes them all in. She ponders all her options holding them close to her heart. A heaviness closes in on her while the familiar twitch in her stomach comes back in pulses. She is transported to a far away place. Miles and miles away, ages and ages ago. Or ahead. She doesn't know and neither do we. 

She is standing under a majestic white oak, a tree that had withstood all tests of time in its several hundred years of existence. There is music in the air as twilight creeps in. Birds chirp away happily flying back to their nests. Rushing to be close to their loved ones, rushing towards comfort. Biting her nails she wonders how she ended up in this place. She had little recollection of the path that brought her here. She should have escaped when she had the chance. She is laying her life bare in his hands, would it take him a minute to toss it away into the thorns that lie beyond? She cries in intoxication. Pleads for him to understand. Begs someone to show her some empathy. Little did she realize that the words were no longer in the confines of her mind. Who is she talking to? Who can carry her anguish to him?

The next morning she knows in her heart that she can no longer take it. She has made her decision no matter how futile it might end. A weight eases off her shoulder when she shrugs the queasy thoughts away. She finds herself standing under the oak tree and the songbirds sing on. In the distance she sees the silhouette of a man. His face becomes clearer and her heart races faster. With her face twisted in fear she breaks into an incoherent ramble. He looks deep into her eyes and she sees it happening. He clasps her hand and gently kisses her lone tear away.

Now playing: Rise Hans Zimmer \m/

Mixed signals

Mixed signals, what can she do with you
Let the eternal healer have a say
Bless her with the numbness of inaction
Have no fear of a bad repercussion

Mixed signals, how does she deal with you
Take things in her resolute stride
Every step assuring that serenity is closer
When has sense ever won sentiment over?

Mixed signals, how does she interpret you
The playful smile with that twinkle in his eye
His weary sigh everytime she says goodbye
Do they all make her reality sway high

Mixed signals, you show your gloomy face
Sever all ties, he dares not
Wait for him to take a stance
As she hangs on in a hopeful trance

Mixed signals, could she be so wrong to read epics
Between lines where no word was ever written
Her radar couldn't have gone so astride
But every crest is a trough from the other side

Mixed signals, should she trade certainty for you
Would she rather take hope, feeble or false
Than have her dreams crushed with a firm no
One that crushes her dreams and callously tramps in the dirt

Mixed signals, will she confide in you
Become an addict, you ease her agony
Will she seek you every blistering minute
And close her eyes with a fleeting glimpse of relief?

Now playing: Black. Like anything else stands a chance. 

Truly, madly and deeply in love

Spoiler alert: If you haven't watched The Dark Knight Rises, please don't read ahead and instead go watch it ASAP! 

Disclaimer: This is not a review of the movie or any attempt to analyze it. It is just an account of what the movie means to me.

Third Date

    It’s the much awaited third date. The air is thick with excitement and the setting is perfect. In fact it doesn’t get better, for it is New Year’s Eve! We are parked illegally at a corner of the road amidst a hundred other cars, surrounded by a horde of drunken kids who are counting down to the New Year. A cool breeze blows and I’m shivering. Cold, excited and anxious.. 52, 51, 50..